The Ticking Of The Clock

Just dropping by for a short while.  It’s been quite a busy and trying days for me (emotionally).  So…yeah…I sat in front of my laptop everyday and tried my best to find My Moments Of Tranquility but, this emotional battles are so overwhelming, I can’t type even one words to start a new entry on my blog.

It’s October now.  And it’s coming to an end.  November is coming soon.  Only me and my family know what it means to all of us. Few years back, I never felt any different of each different month.  But now, no matter how hard I try to ignore, October and November will be forever a heart wrenching months for us, or at least for me.

My husband is the one who is being effected the most by my emotional battles.  Well, he is the closest person to me now.  Like it or not, if I am happy, or sad, or grieving or in my worst behavior…all the emotions will be thrown to him as well.  I guess, that is the blessing as well as a curse in every marriage.  That is why marriage is sometimes referred as ‘two become one’.  We have no choice but to share each other’s burden.

Days passing…the clock is ticking.  It’s one week towards the end of October.  I remember planting a ‘padi’ in a very small piece of my sister’s land with my mom on the final week of October last year. We laugh together and have fun.  She made the hole on the ground and I put the ‘padi’ seed inside the hole.  Only the two of us.  It is a very small area to plant a ‘padi’.  And the seed we bring is only one very small basket.  It was more like we were a children playing a planting ‘padi’ games.  She said she just want to try if the land is good to plant a ‘padi’. We had a great time.  It was a memorable moments.  I still remember her smiling face, her joyfulness that very day. 

Those days, I never took time to notice the beauty of sunset.  I never took time to appreciate the joy of sunrise.  Let alone to notice the ticking of the clock.  But, I guess even if I spend one whole day to prepare to notice all these things,  I still would not know if it was the final days I have with my beloved mom.  I would never know if it was the final week I have with her and the smiling face that day on the ‘padi’ field will be the last joyful smile of her I behold in my memories.  There is no way I would know.

Ahhh…..yup my tears are shedding now.  As always whenever I think of her.  It’s still hurt so much if I let myself sink too deep in the memories.  I better pen off now before this room is floading with my tears. 

Guys, no one know how long we live.  But it’s good to take time to notice the beauty of each moment around you.  It might not tell you much but at least it can remind you to appreciate your loves one.

Until later!